Season 4, Episode 1: Keeping Kids Engaged in the Kitchen

Conner (00:07):
Welcome to Kiddos in the Kitchen, a podcast hosted by my mom.

Autumn Michaelis (00:18):

It's super important to me that my kiddos feel empowered in the kitchen, and that's hard to do if they haven't had experiences in the kitchen. I mean, if you think about it, we are drawn to and feel good at usually what we've done quite a bit of. Most things we're not born doing well, it comes from time under your belt, experiences with it that you come to feel, "I am good at this."

Stephanie (00:42):

Meet Autumn Michaelis, mom to five boys ages 10 to 18, founder of the blog, WholeFoodFor7, and the author of the new cookbook, Whole Food for Your Family. She also works full-time for the lifestyle brand, Whole 30, as their coaching program manager.

Autumn Michaelis (01:03):

It's important to me that my kids have experiences in the kitchen, and it's been absolutely amazing to watch them feel empowered and be excited to get in the kitchen. That comes with that time, doing the thing and realizing how good they can be at it as they develop those skills, and to see them get excited about creating food for themselves has been really fun.

Stephanie (01:29):

Welcome to Kiddos in the Kitchen, a podcast about helping busy adults find the inspiration and information they need to teach the kids in their lives how to cook. I'm your host, Stephanie Conner, and today, we're talking about keeping kids engaged in the kitchen.

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Stephanie (02:25):

Now, Autumn didn't grow up cooking. Her mom didn't like to cook, and so she saw it as a chore when she was younger. She got married at the young age of 19, and says her kitchen skills consisted only of making hamburger helper. As she became a mom and more engaged in her own journey with food and healthy eating, she discovered that cooking isn't drudgery, and she wants to pass down a more positive attitude to her own kids. Before we talk about how Autumn keeps her kids engaged, it's important to hear her explain how important her own state of mind is. She wants to make sure that she has, to use her word, capacity.

Autumn Michaelis (03:12):

I definitely start with making sure I'm in a good place. The goal is that they're having a positive experience in the kitchen. That is the big overarching goal for me. If I am in a hurry because I know we have volleyball and dinner needs to get on the table in 30 minutes, that may not be the ideal timing to bring my kid in the kitchen, because I'm going to be a little shorter, a little rushed, I'm not going to be as patient when they're trying to figure things out. So, I first make sure that I bring them in the kitchen when I have the capacity. A lot of times personally that's on the weekend, that works better for our schedule, or during the summers when there's just not such packed calendars, making sure I have the capacity to provide that positive experience. I do usually make it a one-on-one experience.

(03:58)
Our kitchen's small. I don't bring all five kids in the kitchen at once, else I think we'd just run into each other and somebody would probably burn something while I'm trying to help someone else, so making sure capacity wise I can focus on the one child, and it's a rare kid that doesn't want that one-on-one attention, so knowing that they have concentrated time where mom's paying attention to them, helping them work through the recipe or the process has always really connected with my boys to make sure that they feel seen in the kitchen, not just that they get those skills. So, it's really become a connecting point for us and is really lovely all around.

Stephanie (04:36):

Autumn believes that engagement in the kitchen begins even before you set foot in the kitchen. That means meal planning.

Autumn Michaelis (04:44):

I personally have a meal planning habit where I meal plan and shop for five dinners, a couple breakfasts, a couple lunches every Saturday, and I include my boys in that process. I found this really powerful when we switched to a new way of eating with paleo, gluten-free, dairy-free. Kids are drawn to photos, so I had them sit down with some cookbooks, and they choose meals they'd be excited about, which gives them that investment in it. It's not just the food mom put on the table. It's like, "Oh, that's the recipe I picked," and they get that connection to it. That's also why my cookbook has photos with every recipe. It just gets them engaged and excited. I start with recipes that I think are going to be interesting to them and help them develop with some basic recipes and then help them kind of build from there.

Stephanie (05:29):
So, how do you keep kids, especially older ones, off of their devices in engaged fun?

Autumn Michaelis (05:38):

We try to make it fun. During the summer, we do summer cooking school. I have five boys, so it's easy. They each have a day of the week Monday through Friday. It's their day to cook. They can choose whether they want to cook a side item or a lunch item or a dinner item, but that day they need to cook and contribute to the family. So, they get to pick what it is. I do ask them to vary what they're making so they're not just every week trying to make cookies for lunch, and that they get a variety of skills. I try to make sure the level of skill I've given them matches their age. If they're doing something too simple, they get bored. If they're doing something too hard, they won't feel successful.

(06:19)
So, trying to find the right level of skills takes a little bit to figure out as a parent so that you can keep them engaged. Then I love a good kitchen dance party. It is so fun to put on some music and just whip out the spatula and do some karaoke. It lights my kids up. It helps them learn how to just be silly and find joy in something. Again, I was presented that being in kitchen is drudgery, like it's something you have to do as a caregiver or a parent. I love flipping that script. "This can be fun. You can have a blast." We've had some fantastic kitchen karaoke going on, and just making it a fun thing I get to do.

(07:02)
You get to be creative. One of my sons is super creative, very artistic, and so I have empowered him to make different food art, like, "Hey, I want to make a charcuterie board." "Here's the ingredients, you decide what the design is." So, my 16 year old, who's very artistic, had so much fun making food art. For my little one, that food art looks like kebabs with certain patterns, and you can teach about patterns, you can teach about math. Again, there's so many lessons you can learn, and just do it with a little sprinkle of fun.

Stephanie (07:35):

For Autumn's family, food traditions add to the fun and engagement as well.

Autumn Michaelis (07:41):

I will say, we have had a lot of fun making food traditions in the kitchen. I think traditions are such a beautiful part of any family foundation. We've started creating food traditions, and they can be whatever you decide they are. Monday is always waffle Monday. Every Monday, we make my homemade paleo waffles. Friday is always pizza Friday because it's the end of the week, and that's something we always have fun. We make our own pizza crust. It just kind of gives your kids the sense of safety and rhythm. As a parent, it makes your job a whole lot easier when you know don't have to plan the meal for that day, because you know, "Well, I know breakfast on Monday is waffles and I know Friday dinner is pizza," and so that can be a fun place to start traditions. If you're looking for more family traditions, it's a fun one.

Stephanie (08:27):

While fun is essential to engagement, there's also the value of helping kids understand their role in the family and the need for shared responsibility.

Autumn Michaelis (08:39):

I think it's really important that kids understand their role in the family ethos, in the family dynamic. It's really easy for us as parents, our desire to take care of our kids, not actually empower them to in the future take care of themselves and also to provide for the common good, meaning that everyone has a role in that family. We're very open with our kids. We let them know, "Hey, dad works full-time. Mom works full-time. This is a family effort. All of us have things to do. All of us need to help get food on the table, and you have a role in that." That's also how we approach chores. Everyone's working together to make this move forward and helping them see the big picture. I think kids have a desire. I mean, that's what a family is, is being a part of something, these connections that matter, and that their role in that family, in that family ethos matters.

(09:35)
Are they always excited? No. I'm not going to act like it's all rosy. Also, it does help knowing that we've clearly explained the why and the need for their help. That has helped everyone just see the connection, see the need, and step up. Giving your kids this chance to step up has helped a lot for our family, that division of labor. There's been times where people don't do their role, and helping them see the consequence. "Well, dinner tonight is leftovers because there was no one that stepped into their job," and that there's a consequence to choices. It's been a good learning lab for life.

(10:17)
I will say the parent, it's helped a lot both with my picky eaters in what we're putting on the table and that family responsibility to help cook the food. Anytime, especially if that's something new that you want to add and you're not sure, "Oh, my kids won't go for that," I 100% see you. I did not think my kids would go for the food changes we implemented as a family. I did not think my kids would go for "more work" to help out in the kitchen. It was a huge difference once I was consistent. I think that's one of the hardest things as a parent, is to be consistent.

Stephanie (10:48):

Responsibility and consistency were two themes I noticed in a story that Autumn shared about her oldest son, who graduated from high school this year. She knew he'd be leaving for college and she wanted to make sure he was prepared to feed himself.

Autumn Michaelis (11:06):

We started thinking about this in September of the year before he left. We just kind of had that moment of, "In a year, he's an adult, and what have I not taught him?" And one of the things was, we want to make sure you can feed yourself in the kitchen, because again, I didn't have that. I only knew what a back of a box told me to cook in the kitchen versus some healthier options. We sat him down and I said, "My goal is that you will have at least 10 recipes that you can make with a lot of confidence, that, A, you know how to read a recipe, and then B, that you can make at least 10 recipes." So, we picked out some of his favorites.

(11:43)
We picked out some stretch recipes that I knew he liked the food, but he would be a little bit of a stretch to learn how to cook. It was really fun. He was in the kitchen once a week from September until when he graduated in June, and it's such a cool feeling knowing he has something that I didn't have, that he knows how to make food he enjoys, he has confidence in the kitchen, he's confident reading a recipe, and that's been such a gift that I'm grateful I can give him that I didn't have the opportunity for.

Stephanie (12:12):

Now it's time for kitchen questions, and just a couple more questions for Autumn.

Children (12:20):

It's time for kitchen questions. I have a question. What would happen if you put a little bit of the wrong ingredient inside a cookie? Why are cupcakes squishy? How often do you burn things on accident? Do you like cake? What is the difference between baking and roasting? What is your favorite recipe? What three kitchen skills should kids have?

Autumn Michaelis (12:50):
The most important one to me is that they know how to read and have confidence in following a recipe. If you can read a recipe, think how much that opens up for you as far as being able to make endless amounts of things. But there's a lot of times kids don't have that confidence. They're not quite sure, even though it spells out what to do, they just need practice. So, it's really important to me that instead of telling my kids, "You're going to mix this. No, you're going to chop this." I let them read the recipe to me and tell, "Okay, now what are we doing?" And let them guide it so then they gain the confidence that they gain from the recipe itself, instead of from me telling them what to do, teaching them how to fish versus just giving them the fish.

(13:30)
I also really love, a skill that's underrated is that kids know how to tell when something is done. "Okay. You just made muffins. Well, how do you know it's done?" Or, "How do you know that sauce is ready?" That's an important skill that I think is often overlooked. Then third, I would say knife skills, for safety reasons, but also just so many recipes, you got to know how to chop or slice or dice, and having that confidence can just really speed things up and make it fun.

Stephanie (13:57):

What should kids know how to cook before they leave home?

Autumn Michaelis (14:02):

What's been really valuable for us has been at least three dinner recipes and a breakfast and a lunch. I can't say exactly what those three recipes for dinner would be, it just should be something my kids love, enjoy, is easy, and they wouldn't mind a repeat, because there's a good chance in college they might be making that a couple times a week for the entire semester. So, just really easy recipes that they feel confident in is the priority to me versus any type of recipe.

Stephanie (14:30):

Thank you again to my guest today, Autumn Michaelis. You can learn more about Autumn at wholefoodfor7.com, and you can follow her on Facebook and Instagram at WholeFoodFor7. Her cookbook, Whole Food for Your Family, is out now and available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and her own website, among other places. I'll link to her book and social channels on Kiddos in the Kitchen as well.

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Stephanie (15:31):
It's simply finding the right task for your kiddo or queuing up a full-on kitchen dance party, complete with some spatula karaoke. Keeping kitchen time fun and engaging for kids of any age is important. Autumn said something in our conversation that really hit home to me. We as the adults in the room set the tone. If we bring stress, anxiety or negativity, our kids pick up on that. If we call cooking a chore, if we make it sound like horrible drudgery, they will internalize that energy. That means ensuring we are in a good place from the beginning and keeping things fun, light and engaging isn't just the key to a good experience in the kitchen today. It could influence how our kids feel about cooking potentially for a lifetime. So, while, yes, we want our kids to be empowered and skilled and independent, the first step is in the tone we set. Positive energy and fun contribute to engagement, so let's start there. The skills will come. Thanks for joining me for Kiddos in the Kitchen. I'm your host, Stephanie Conner, with a reminder from my son.

Conner (17:19):
You like my mom's podcast as much as I do? You can subscribe on Apple podcast, Google podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts.

Stephanie (17:37):
That's right. You can also view the show notes, subscribe to our newsletter, and check out all of our other content at kiddosinthekitchen.com, where kiddos cook on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, and I'll be back next month with another fresh episode. Until then, I encourage you to get your kiddos in the kitchen.